obso1337.org

Last night I sat at my computer and stared at my empty Desktop. “I hate you”, I thought to the screen, but I knew it wasn’t true. I tried again, this time trying to collect my emotions and channel them in to focus. “I hate computers”. I almost felt helpless knowing how far from the truth that was. Who ever knew it was so hard to hate?

Computers (and most technology for that matter) are an integral part of my life. When most people go on vacation, they leave work and computers behind. Usually when I go on vacation, it is either for a technology-related event, or my laptop comes with me. I work in computers, play with computers, and 80-90% of my waking hours are spent in front of one (a comfortable chair is worth the investment).

Computers cant replace people, but my computer acts as a medium between me and the people I interact with. On a daily basis, I probably talk to a dozen different people in some way or another. In reality, I only speak to a handful of them in real life. How many of you have sat in a room less than an arms reach from another, transmitting messages rather than speaking? Some people may personify their computer into the person they are communicating with. I talk to people while my computer stands (sits?) by idly and listens passively. Kindof like a faithful dog, or a personal assistance, ready to aid whenever called on. You talk to it, praise and swear to it. “Why are you doing that? Just work damnit!”

My relationship with my computer is very much like a relationship with a person. I get frustrated at it, I yell at it, and sometimes I give it a good kick or two out of spite. Sometimes we get along and work great together, completing impossible tasks and creating beautiful things. It can also be a frequent source of frustration and pain when you cant figure out how to do something together. The user is never at fault for not knowing how to use the tools. It is always the computer’s fault. Even though logic proves otherwise, computers can be unpredictable, moody, disobediant, forgiving, reliable and supportive.

And it is always there for me, whether I want it to be or not.

It is not uncommon that users name their belongings. I know of several people who have named their cars. Many people name their computers and a lot of times the name is where it ends. In my circle, we refer to our computers as one would refer to another person; an outsider sometimes has no idea the subject in question is a machine. Personification in that manner doesnt bother me or seem strange. I spend a lot of time and effort coming up with appropriate and meaningful names for my computers as someone would with a child. Skaven was an assembly demo and tracking box. Lazerus was a box I ressurected from the dumpster. Hal was an old server with a few loose transistors. Straylight is my personal “deck”.

When you work with computers as much as I do, you tend to create a relationship with them. You learn its little nuances and know when its misbehaving and when its seriously broken. A loss is felt when the OS is reinstalled. The configuration may be the same but in essence it isnt the same machine. Bits are written in a different order, ghosts on the disk and in memory are lost and replaced, it doesnt react the same to your requests and just “feels” like a different machine. We can restore backups, set preferences and do custom configurations, but all were really doing is painting a lost face over the new machine.

Computers bring services like the Internet and entertainment like video games, and most people use them for those tasks and more. My computer is more than just that. Its sole purpose of its existence is for me. It needs me and I need it.

seele :: Apr.22.2005 :: General, Life, Technology :: 1 Comment »

Trackback this post |